How Shall I Then Show Him?

Hello Dear Wives!

Today I just want share encouragement to do something loving for your husband.  No matter how you feel or what your budget is, you can do something from this list. If you have any suggestions you'd like to share also, please post them in comments below!  Mine are not in order of importance:

1. Make a care package

Austin has done this for me, and I for him.  When I'm really stressed out, he might come home with my favorite snack from CVS, or a single rose (But don't have expectations!  They will fail you!).

So while I was out running errands this week, I realized I hadn't given him a gift in a while.  My package consisted of one of his favorite magazines, some power bars, energy drinks, Arnold Palmers, cheesy chips, and a kiss <3

Every man is different.  Think about his favorite little gadgets or other things--it could be gum, a cigar, a reading light, a pair of work gloves, or who knows.  Be creative!

2. Cook a man meal for him.  

Most men love meat!  But whatever his favorite is, surprise him with it.

3. Give him the gift of your silence. 

If there's something that you struggle with that is disrespectful, embarrassing, or annoying to him, try to break the habit.  And start by doing it for at least one day.

It could be biting your nails, talking too much when he just gets home from work, or maybe it's something you normally nag him about.  Whatever it is, find a verse that pertains to your struggle, hide it in your heart (memorize it!), and apply it to your life to stop sinning in that area and to enhance your marriage.

4.  If he slacks in an area that is generally his responsibility but he's extremely busy or tired, pick up the slack for him as his helper.

Maybe it's taking out the trash, paying a bill, or something to do with the kids.

5.  Apologize to him for something in which you failed to admit wrongdoing--however long ago it was.

If you spoke disrespectfully to him, had a bad attitude, or were lazy about something that matters to him--show him respect and humility and say you're sorry, asking for his forgiveness (and of course, try not to do it any more!).

6.  Surprise him in an intimate manner.  

I need to go no farther on this one ; )

7.  Pray with him.

Austin and I do this with each other daily, and it has been the single greatest factor in our unity so far.  Usually he leads us in prayer, but when he's worried about a test or he's wiped out from no sleep, I ask if I can pray for him and with him.  Pray for him to have peace, strength, wisdom, self-control, and success if it be God's will.

8.  Sacrifice a little.

Okay, so we're poor right now.  And most of us young spouses are.  So we don't always have the George Washingtons to eat out.

Sometimes when I plan a meal, we eat it faster than expected and that might leave us one evening with a less-than-desirable amount of leftovers.

Usually our men need more than us (and for those of us wanting to lose weight this is PERFECT!).  Give him some of your portion that you would normally eat.

Don't worry.  I'm pretty sure you won't starve to death in one day ; )

9.  Make yourself attractive to him.

Shower regularly.  Do your makeup the way he likes it (and ask a Mary Kay consultant to help you..aghem!).  Dress in a way that pleases him (within reason and not in a sinful way, of course).  Does he like you with or without perfume?  Ask him how he likes you to do your hair.

As Beth Moore once said, "Cover up!! But do it CUTELY!!"

10.   Save your best for him.

Save your best conversation, jokes, energy, time, and looks for him.  Even if he doesn't acknowledge it right away or ever--it will change things.  Scout's honor.

Now share your ideas!

Words You Can Taste

I've been referring to my college classes a lot lately, and that is because so many things about my faith have been tested through it.  If you've ever been to a secular college, or even a "Christian" one, you might quickly realize that most, if not all, professors deny the God of the Bible, or any god (little "g!") really.  In a science class at Angelo State in my freshman year, a professor laughed heartily as he recounted his most recent encounter with a Christian student who went to his office with some concerns.  The student was questioning some data the prof had given to us over the decreasing frequency of natural disasters worldwide (I have honestly not done my research in this area, so I couldn't tell you the truth about them..and this was 6 years ago).  He wanted to know about the Bible's vindication concerning Matthew 24:7, which says, "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places."  But I think by mistake, the student asked about increasing frequency of tornadoes.  The professor, who didn't even know what the scripture reference said, just doubled over laughing in class as he ridiculed this student's question.  "Tornadoes?  Tornadoes?! Hahahaha...!! NO! The number of tornadoes has DECREASED over the last 100 years!! Oh my gosh...Christians..."  You cannot believe the adrenaline rush I had inside.  It took everything within me to not cry.  I looked over at my fellow classmates who were also Christians, and they were frozen solid, eyeballs about to pop out of their heads.  I sat there shaking, cold, angry, and hurt.


Six years later I'm back in school facing more frequent ridicule, and far more serious assaults on our holy God.  A "professing Christian" in a communications class authoritatively used the phrase "the myth of God."  And when I answered a question about perspectives, I used the first four gospels of the New Testament to explain the more complete picture created of Christ's life, but my professor ever-so-helpfully reminded me that "with religion, we are delving into tricky territory," because, you see, most of the world is not even Christian and of course, if you're a Christian, then of course the resurrection of Christ is absolute truth, but to most people it is not (this comment of hers had nothing to do with what I was talking about--the opportunity was used to ensure to the class that the gospels are not true--thankfully, no one responded to her comment).  My current class, "Mythology in Literature and Life," is even worse.  In both textbooks, all of Genesis and the first four gospels are unquestionably classified as myth.  I have to stomach reading the material to participate in informed discussions with my classmates, but I have already resolved to respectfully not acknowledge God, Jesus, or Scripture as "myth."


In dealing with such unbelievers and even misguided Christians, God has reminded me through His Word and other authors about the importance and necessity of seasoning my words with salt.  

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. " ~Colossians 4:6

So what does salt do? 


Well, I thought of a list (maybe you can come up with a better one):
Salt...
Makes food taste better
Raises your blood pressure if you consume too much
Often contains "iodide, an essential nutrient," so the containers always say
Makes slugs shrivel up and die
Is found in oceans, seas, and a few lakes around the world
Is used as a catalyst in chemistry sometimes
Is something humans can't survive completely without
Makes Utah pretty


So...
My words should be seasoned with enough salt to taste good to others, but I shouldn't pour on too much or they might spit it out (or die..*wink*).  I should use just enough of it to speak life-giving words to the spiritually dead.  And I should put enough into my conversation so that my words might be a catalyst for something good.  I should not try to witness to a slug.  And when I need more salt, I should take a swim in the Gulf or visit the great state of Utah.

When I was tempted to respond to my professor's claim about the falsehood of the Bible, I prayed fervently and asked Austin for advice.  I had so many things I could have said!  I could have talked about the accuracy of the passing down of scripture from generation to generation.  I could have discussed how, if that is true (and she did believe there were some likely factual events in Scripture--just not all of it), the disciples were either completely off their rockers or were so convinced through firsthand eye witness that Christ rose from the dead and still lives, for them to peacefully allow other people to end their own lives.  I could have talked about all of the extra-Biblical, archaeological, and logical evidence that exists for Christ and for the whole Word.  BUT, I took the advice of my husband and Scripture and followed the leading of God through prayer to not respond, because any response I had to give might come across as disrespectful and argumentative since my class can neither hear my voice, see my face, or observe how I live (my classes are online, by the way).


"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." ~Proverbs 10:19
"Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment." ~Proverbs 10:13
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." ~Proverbs 11:2
"The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice." ~Proverbs 12:15
"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult." ~Proverbs 12:16
"A prudent man keeps his knowledge to himself, but the heart of a fool blurts out folly." ~Proverbs 12:23


[These are my memory verses for the week.  I realized how desperately I need to hide God's Word in my heart that I might not sin against Him! (see Psalm 119:11)]


But what if the time is right to say something in response?  After all, we are called to be bold in proclaiming the gospel of Christ.  Ephesians 6:19 says, "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.." And of course, there is Colossians 4:6 as stated above.  It is so terribly important that you and I be prepared to give an answer for the hope that lies within us.  First Peter 3:15 tells us, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect.." Gentleness and respect.  Not out of anger or as a fool showing his "annoyance" at once.


Parents, are you thoroughly and daily equipping your children with the Word and wise counsel for the days they will encounter persecution and ridicule?  Are you teaching them to respond with gentleness and respect, seasoning their words with salt?

I don't have kids yet, and I am intimidated somewhat by training them up in the way they should go.  What if I set a bad example?  Oh, I do NOT want them to have my faults!! 

But I do want them to know the Bible and to know true love, that they might impart those things in the world when they go out into it.

~Grace and peace be with you~

The "S" Word

If any of you have ever read the play "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen, you might recall the very sad ending.  In short, the protagonist (Nora) lives an apparently happy life with her husband (Torvald), and together they have three children (maybe four, but I can't remember).  Anyway, Torvald provides well for his wife and treats her kindly.  But in his kindness, he also treats his wife like a child, referring to her as his "little squirrel" or "singing bird."  He doesn't allow her to read their mail without going through it himself first, and even says she is like a little child.  He expects many things of his wife, and yet she graciously respects him and does what he says.  While I cringed at Torvald's condescending treatment of his wife, I admired Nora's respectful behavior toward him, and begrudgingly appreciated Torvald's love for his wife.  We learn midway through the story that Nora had forged her dead father's signature on a loan several years earlier to pay for medical treatment of her husband when his life was at steak.  Torvald assumed this money was willed to Nora at her father's death, and never questioned her claim because in Norway at this time in history, women could not legally borrow money without the co-signing of a male relative.  Nora pays off this loan to a corrupt man who later exposes her wrongdoing to her husband and threatens to make her crime publicly known.  Torvald, in a fit of rage, tells his wife that he cannot bear the shame she has brought upon their family (never mind that she saved his life), and that he forbids her to raise their children any longer, wanting to give them over to their nanny, and yet expects her to live in the same house with them.  But when Torvald discovers another letter from the same corrupt man that says he recants his threat and will keep things secret, Torvald says all is well and he and Nora can carry on their lives as before.  But Nora, realizing and believing that she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment from her husband, packs up all of her bags and leaves her husband and children, never to return.

Needless to say, this is quite a work of feminist thought, and women at the time championed this play by Ibsen--and, well...they still do.

My last class required this reading and discussion over the story.  You can imagine, I'm sure, what my thoughts on it were.  But I had to temper my opinions since from what I observed of my classmates and professor were absolutely not of the same mind as me and most didn't know the Lord.

The majority of the women in my classes are quite outspoken about how proud they are to be single moms.  Quite frankly, I admire their tenacity and the strength required to raise multiple children alone.  Yeah, I get that.  But what saddens my heart is how it is they came to be single moms.  One classmate reiterated goodness knows how many times that a woman can only take so much and that's just why she left her first two husbands and is now raising her three boys alone.  One of the two other Christians in that same class also applauded the fictional Nora's decision to "stand up for herself."

There is not room enough nor time enough for me to voice all of my thoughts on this subject or to show you what the Bible says about it.  But what I can say is that for a believing woman, her mindset is to be counter-cultural, pro-scripture, and pro-Christ.  She is to love, to respect, and to be faithful to her husband.  She is to submit to him.  Yes...submit...just as the church submits herself to Christ.  It is not an option.  It is a command.  Well...okay, I guess you do have the option technically, but the choice is between obeying your King or to spit in His face and say "I don't deserve this and I will do what is best for me,"thus sinning against Him.

I'm sure some of you reading this are thinking about how young I am and how easy my life is and that I have no idea what it is to suffer and that I'm naive and.... and yes, that is true.  But what I also know to be true--something that is indisputable--is that you and I were bought at a price.  A high price.  Someone gave His life for you and me and if you have believed in Him to be your Savior, you no longer have the right to say "I deserve better than this man I'm stuck with!"  If anyone deserves better, it is the Father who loves without limit, the Son who gave himself up for us and sits at the right hand of the Father, the Holy Spirit who lives in us.  And he can enable you to respect your husband--to love him.  Not with mushy feelings.  But with an unconditional love that is only supernatural.  It can't be done by you.  But our God can do it.  And you have to ask Him minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and so on and so forth...literally.

"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.  Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you (!) in Christ Jesus," says 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 (Emphasis and exclamation mine.  By the way, ever wonder what God's will is for you?  Well here's part of it!).

I dare you to read through Psalm 119.  The whole thing.  Notice how many times the psalmist says the words "law," "decrees," "statutes?"  I don't know and don't have time to count them all, but look at his attitude toward God's commands.  "Blessed are they...whose ways are blameless...walk according to the law of the Lord..keep his statutes..they do nothing wrong [who obey his law]; they walk in his ways..I will obey your decrees...do not let me stray from your commands..I rejoice in following your statutes..I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways..teach me your decrees...your precepts..before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word..." (emphasis mine) and it just goes on and on and on.

I don't always have this attitude..but I long to have it always!  I hope you do too, and I hope you find comfort in the Word, and through godly women who will pray with and encourage you, hear you cry, hold you accountable, and love you.  And whatever you do, don't stop meditating on the Word.  Hide it in your heart.  And pray without ceasing.

God in you can overcome even the seemingly impossible in your spouse.  Don't wait for your husband to do his part of Ephesians chapter 5!  Just do yours!  And you will profit from it.


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Some references to note:


1 Peter 3:1-2, 3:8-12, 3:14
Ephesians 5:16-17, 5:22-24

...and many more..if you want any others that pertain please ask!

Some books to read:

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
The Bible by God

A Youtube video to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y744wrWo4o&feature=player_embedded taken from The Time-Warp Wife Blog: http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/

Cleaning the Bathroom With Joy

So being a relatively inexperienced and young wife, I've failed to establish a routine.  I'm constantly playing catch-up at the end of the week, and keeping my home consistently decent is a failure (and to think I don't even have kids yet!).

One of the most DAUNTING tasks of my cleaning "routine" is conquering the bathroom.  I can't tell you how much I dislike cleaning that place.  Granted, our bathroom never reaches the point of utter disgust, but it's usually nothing close to the image I want it to be if unannounced company shows up.  To illustrate even further for you how ashamed I can be of our restroom, I will sometimes even tell people we're too busy to have them over, just so that I don't have to clean the bathroom or so they won't see it in its current condition.

It wasn't until last week that I decided to commit my restroom-cleaning issues to the Lord.  YES, it's something I actually had to give to him because I realized I can't do such a comparatively simple thing by myself!

One of my quiet times last week went something like this...."God, I am ashamed of this silly thing, but will you PLEASE give me the STRENGTH and JOY that I need to finish the bathroom today?  I want to commit to cleaning this place in the house every Tuesday, regardless of what else I accomplish.  And I know I can only do this with your help."

Tuesdays are the most free day I have out of the week.  My school week starts on Tuesdays and ends on Mondays, and since I have the option of which days I do school work, I usually take  Tuesdays off.  Therefore, I have NO EXCUSE to clean the bathroom on Tuesdays!

So this past Tuesday, I set about cleaning the bathroom with some praise music on to get my mind focused on Christ.  And lo and behold, I had a blessed time in the bathroom that day!  Instead of being that awful mountain of a task it usually is, the hour and a half spent scrubbing, disinfecting, and beautifying became a conversation between me and my King.  Now I have a refreshingly clean and sparkling place to get ready in the morning!

Focus your thoughts on Him and He will faithfully lead you to accomplish whatever it is you normally put off.  Don't procrastinate.  Whatever that thing is in your life that you just can't seem to be faithful in doing as unto the Lord, commit it to Him in prayer.

A few things I've found to be helpful when procrastinating or when doing something with a bad attitude are below:

*Write it down in your calendar
*Before starting the task, have your quiet time with God and seriously commit it to Him in prayer
*Don't let yourself do ANYTHING else that day until it's accomplished (aside from your time with God, of course)
*Tell your husband or a friend to call you and hold you accountable (however great or small the thing is!)
*Play some of your favorite motivating music in the background while doing that thing
*Memorize a verse that applies to your struggle

____________________________

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working

for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you 

will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward."

Colossians 3:23-24

First Post!

So this is my new blog!

My hope is that this can become a community of women of all ages and levels of experience to share in wisdom, advice, and encouragement.  

               ~She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.~

Proverbs 31:25