The "S" Word

If any of you have ever read the play "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen, you might recall the very sad ending.  In short, the protagonist (Nora) lives an apparently happy life with her husband (Torvald), and together they have three children (maybe four, but I can't remember).  Anyway, Torvald provides well for his wife and treats her kindly.  But in his kindness, he also treats his wife like a child, referring to her as his "little squirrel" or "singing bird."  He doesn't allow her to read their mail without going through it himself first, and even says she is like a little child.  He expects many things of his wife, and yet she graciously respects him and does what he says.  While I cringed at Torvald's condescending treatment of his wife, I admired Nora's respectful behavior toward him, and begrudgingly appreciated Torvald's love for his wife.  We learn midway through the story that Nora had forged her dead father's signature on a loan several years earlier to pay for medical treatment of her husband when his life was at steak.  Torvald assumed this money was willed to Nora at her father's death, and never questioned her claim because in Norway at this time in history, women could not legally borrow money without the co-signing of a male relative.  Nora pays off this loan to a corrupt man who later exposes her wrongdoing to her husband and threatens to make her crime publicly known.  Torvald, in a fit of rage, tells his wife that he cannot bear the shame she has brought upon their family (never mind that she saved his life), and that he forbids her to raise their children any longer, wanting to give them over to their nanny, and yet expects her to live in the same house with them.  But when Torvald discovers another letter from the same corrupt man that says he recants his threat and will keep things secret, Torvald says all is well and he and Nora can carry on their lives as before.  But Nora, realizing and believing that she doesn't deserve this kind of treatment from her husband, packs up all of her bags and leaves her husband and children, never to return.

Needless to say, this is quite a work of feminist thought, and women at the time championed this play by Ibsen--and, well...they still do.

My last class required this reading and discussion over the story.  You can imagine, I'm sure, what my thoughts on it were.  But I had to temper my opinions since from what I observed of my classmates and professor were absolutely not of the same mind as me and most didn't know the Lord.

The majority of the women in my classes are quite outspoken about how proud they are to be single moms.  Quite frankly, I admire their tenacity and the strength required to raise multiple children alone.  Yeah, I get that.  But what saddens my heart is how it is they came to be single moms.  One classmate reiterated goodness knows how many times that a woman can only take so much and that's just why she left her first two husbands and is now raising her three boys alone.  One of the two other Christians in that same class also applauded the fictional Nora's decision to "stand up for herself."

There is not room enough nor time enough for me to voice all of my thoughts on this subject or to show you what the Bible says about it.  But what I can say is that for a believing woman, her mindset is to be counter-cultural, pro-scripture, and pro-Christ.  She is to love, to respect, and to be faithful to her husband.  She is to submit to him.  Yes...submit...just as the church submits herself to Christ.  It is not an option.  It is a command.  Well...okay, I guess you do have the option technically, but the choice is between obeying your King or to spit in His face and say "I don't deserve this and I will do what is best for me,"thus sinning against Him.

I'm sure some of you reading this are thinking about how young I am and how easy my life is and that I have no idea what it is to suffer and that I'm naive and.... and yes, that is true.  But what I also know to be true--something that is indisputable--is that you and I were bought at a price.  A high price.  Someone gave His life for you and me and if you have believed in Him to be your Savior, you no longer have the right to say "I deserve better than this man I'm stuck with!"  If anyone deserves better, it is the Father who loves without limit, the Son who gave himself up for us and sits at the right hand of the Father, the Holy Spirit who lives in us.  And he can enable you to respect your husband--to love him.  Not with mushy feelings.  But with an unconditional love that is only supernatural.  It can't be done by you.  But our God can do it.  And you have to ask Him minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and so on and so forth...literally.

"Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.  Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you (!) in Christ Jesus," says 1 Thessalonians 5:15-18 (Emphasis and exclamation mine.  By the way, ever wonder what God's will is for you?  Well here's part of it!).

I dare you to read through Psalm 119.  The whole thing.  Notice how many times the psalmist says the words "law," "decrees," "statutes?"  I don't know and don't have time to count them all, but look at his attitude toward God's commands.  "Blessed are they...whose ways are blameless...walk according to the law of the Lord..keep his statutes..they do nothing wrong [who obey his law]; they walk in his ways..I will obey your decrees...do not let me stray from your commands..I rejoice in following your statutes..I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways..teach me your decrees...your precepts..before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word..." (emphasis mine) and it just goes on and on and on.

I don't always have this attitude..but I long to have it always!  I hope you do too, and I hope you find comfort in the Word, and through godly women who will pray with and encourage you, hear you cry, hold you accountable, and love you.  And whatever you do, don't stop meditating on the Word.  Hide it in your heart.  And pray without ceasing.

God in you can overcome even the seemingly impossible in your spouse.  Don't wait for your husband to do his part of Ephesians chapter 5!  Just do yours!  And you will profit from it.


___________________________________________________________________________________

Some references to note:


1 Peter 3:1-2, 3:8-12, 3:14
Ephesians 5:16-17, 5:22-24

...and many more..if you want any others that pertain please ask!

Some books to read:

The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs
What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood
The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
The Bible by God

A Youtube video to watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y744wrWo4o&feature=player_embedded taken from The Time-Warp Wife Blog: http://time-warp-wife.blogspot.com/